This is Jim Rockford. At the tone, leave your name and message. I’ll get back to you.

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Some classic messages left on Jim Rockford’s answering machine – as heard at the top of every episode of The Rockford Files.

“Jim, it’s Maria over at the laundromat. There’s a yellow dress in with your things. Is that a mistake, or special handling, or what?”

“This is Dr. Souter’s office again, regarding that root canal. The doctor is in his office…waiting. He’s beginning to dislike you.”

“This is incredible. Do you know last night I had one of my dreams? I dreamed that if I called you, you wouldn’t be home. And you’re not.”

“Hey, I saw your ad in the classified. Three African goats for sale. I keep calling and all I get is a machine. Is this a typo in the paper, or what?”

“That number four you just picked up from Angelo’s Pizza? Some scouring powder fell in there. Don’t eat it. Hey, I hope you try your phone machine before dinner.”

“Rockford? Alice, Phil’s Plumbing. We’re still jammed up on a job, so we won’t be able to make your place. Use the bathroom at the restaurant one more night.”

“Jim, Dwight. I put a new outlet in the kitchen. I lay in the cable and the box. Then I pull the breaker just like you said. And both of my tv sets start burning. What should I do now?”

“Tompkins at Guaranteed Insurance. About your burglary claim. Major loss all right. Funny you remembered to file, but you didn’t remember to pay your premium.”

“This is Shirley at the bank. The answers are: no, no, and yes. No, we won’t loan you money. No, we won’t accept any co-signers; and yes, your account’s overdrawn. I get off at 4:30.”

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